A Great Dilemma of Working Parents

The great dilemma of working parents is leaving their children in the hands of the caregivers. Husband and I are working parents. We have a 3 year old son who is undergoing Applied Behavioural Analysis Therapy and a 6-month old baby girl.  Every day from 8am to 5pm they are left in the hands of caregivers who are complete strangers, meaning they are not blood related.

Since, I don’t have the privilege to leave the office any time and take my son to his therapy 3 times a week, which is about 20 minutes ride from home (considering the city traffic), we have to hire a caregiver solely for him and another for the baby. Though, husband took him there when he is off duty.

Even though we give them ample salaries which, is above the minimum in provincial areas, allowing them to cash advance if they have family problems, giving them the same food we eat, and how considerate we are to their needs, still they are not truthful and are bad mouthing us behind our backs. 

On Monday, I received a text from one of the caregivers specifically baby’s caregiver. I was so shocked when I read the wrong sent message intended to our former helper, bad mouthing my 3 year old son who had done wrong to her, like squeezing her face. I can’t believe she can actually say something like that about my son (like a devil, animal, etc.) when in fact she is so good in front of us, and also a mother who has two children, and is denying that our son did something wrong to her. 

I forwarded the message to my husband and ask him what I should do, because I’m on the verge of erupting. I wanted to rush home that time and confront him but hubby told me to hold myself and observe her first. Husband was on duty that time and cannot go home as well. 

You see, God made some situations for me that day, I was attending a meeting at a hotel when I received that disturbing text message and do not have the car with me to drive home right away. Then after 5pm, I wasn’t able to go home right away too because I got a flat tire and took almost two hours before it was fixed. 

I arrived home at 7PM and by that time my anger already has subsided. I did not confront her with but instead went inside the room with the kids, right after I took my dinner. I held myself so that I won’t be able to say anything hurtful to her. Considering that she took care of the baby quite well, and it so happened that the boy’s caregiver have not returned yet from her vacation and have no choice but for her to look after him as well while home.

I wonder if she realized she had wrongly sent that message to me? The following day I avoided talking to her, can you imagine that? Ako pa yung amo, ako pa ang umiiwas? But I have no choice, dahil mahirap maghanap ng kapalit. Instead, I asked hubby’s teenage cousin who’s been living with us lately to look after my son and see to his needs while we are at work, so that the other will not be obligated to look after him, and will focus only in taking care of baby girl which what we paid her to do. 

My sentiment is that, we allowed her to go home after our family reunion last week, gave her medicine for his son and let her have cash advance and even took her to her house which is afar our way, after all those she can actually say something like that, or who knows what she had done to them when we are not around.  Oh, I asked her yesterday if my son did something wrong to her, but she still denied. 

After the incident, I thought of resigning from my day job, but can’t really do that right now considering our financial need, the need to support my son’s therapy. 

Now, my only refuge is to pray to God that sooner or later we’ll be able to surpass all these challenges that working parents has. That soon we’ll be able to find someone who will be loyal to us and will also love our children as their own, because I can assure them that we’ll be good employer to them. And maybe can have my own business that will allow me to stay at home with the kids, still earning and can help my husband provide the needs of our family.